[olmec]

Rabbit eras

[The Dude Abides]

Hello Dude ( i cant call you darling anymore im sorry). I do not want to be held responsible for divorces or liver transplants and i think i may  be engaged to a smoked salmon. There is not much life in the salmon , but i like em quiet and fishy and its the next best thing to a mermaid.

 

As you know, i do like to do a preamble to the question and  try and say as many words as i can before asking the question until i run out of ideas. And this time there is no exception.

I have had only 4 pints and 3 spliffs so apols if this is not silly enough...

 

So i will start with the preamble...

 

Diane Abbot is a labour mp who is always being interviewed on the telly.  I was thinking today, whilst watchng her on the al queda channel.. that her genitals are likely to be easily mistaken for a slice of blackforest gataeu if someone posted them side by side on youtube. Triangular, loads of black curly bits on the outside. I will leave the cream and jam to your own (and other viewers) imagination(s).

 

So my question is this.

Why is it that when i listen to the below video that my head nods like a roosters on MDMA?

 

Appreciate you may be a bit rusty, so if it helps..

 

...I am 77% sure i am not a rooster.

 

@jimmipoopscoops..

My nads are like  conkers in a hikers sock these days james. Its middle aged mate. I cant wear shorts anymore without having the rabbits ears on show. Wait till piss dribbles down you leg 2 mins after you have finished a piss with a good shake.  Thats mid 40s territory. Im an early adopter and it is destroying.

 

Ive tried the cold water trick, fixes the droopy problem, but leaves you with a bigger problem.. which is.. where did they go?

I dipped the conkers into a recent icehash bucket and they just shot up into my innards. It needed a chinese neck massage to push em back down home.

 

 

 

Hello Darling (I will not have my affections brushed aside by a smoked fish, halibut excepted) and thanks for the question.

 

I didn't really bother reading your preamble because I was busy watching Dianne Abbot's tits on the telly,

 

I was about to suggest genetic screening just in case you've got chicken DNA in your genes, I wouldn't be surprised tbh, bet you've got sheep.

 

Cut down on the MDMA and stop watching crappy soul videos from decades ago.

 

Good advice to Jimmi btw.

 

All good things

 TDA

 

[Budgie]

bon soir dude.

Obesity is on the increase. So what happens to all the liposucked fat? Am i missing an opportunity here in the fast developing gourmet sausage (additives and flavourings supply) market?

[The Dude Abides]

bon soir dude.

Obesity is on the increase. So what happens to all the liposucked fat? Am i missing an opportunity here in the fast developing gourmet sausage (additives and flavourings supply) market?

 

Hi Budgie and thanks for the question.

 

Cannibalism, although not illegal, is certainly frowned upon in certain circles.

 

Fortunately not in the Green Circle.

 

I use it on toast instead of beef dripping and very tasty it is (the fried bread is out of this world).

 

You can also use it as a lubricant for penetrative sex.

 

Don't think it would make a good flavouring for gourmet sausages, it tastes like wombat doo (Australians may like it though), try basil instead.

 

All good things

 TDA

[Dekay]

Well I know with someone with your complete and utter lack of medical training that I may finally get the help I need and not some bloody medicine as they call it, I like to think that my ass is a sacred place but thats often how you feel when monks congregate around a body part but I do still think fondly of the nuns who worshipped my left big toe, I was always tripping over bloody nuns but thats off the point, I am haunted by a ghost, a devil ghost with a hot poker, I never see him but only true evil would inflict this pain, I went to see the doctor thinking he would prescribe a priest to exorcise my demons and was handed some white bullets, I loaded these bullets into a gun but I have yet to catch the bugger to shoot him so dont find any comfort from this approach and if I can stop this pain without resorting to bullets, I am a pacafist after all, that would be a lot more comforting to my cursed soul.

[The Dude Abides]

Well I know with someone with your complete and utter lack of medical training that I may finally get the help I need and not some bloody medicine as they call it, I like to think that my ass is a sacred place but thats often how you feel when monks congregate around a body part but I do still think fondly of the nuns who worshipped my left big toe, I was always tripping over bloody nuns but thats off the point, I am haunted by a ghost, a devil ghost with a hot poker, I never see him but only true evil would inflict this pain, I went to see the doctor thinking he would prescribe a priest to exorcise my demons and was handed some white bullets, I loaded these bullets into a gun but I have yet to catch the bugger to shoot him so dont find any comfort from this approach and if I can stop this pain without resorting to bullets, I am a pacafist after all, that would be a lot more comforting to my cursed soul.

 

Hi Deeks and thanks for the question.

 

8 out of 10 for punctuation but your sentences and paragraphs are a bit on the farty side.

 

I assume that like me you were bought up a catholic?

 

Forget about the fucking toe.

 

ki

 

She kidnapped herself Deeks.

 

The nuns were just a cover story, they had tits under their habits, I saw them once, or twice.

 

Hope this helps

 

All good things

 TDA

[captain beefheart]

oi dude bach....heres one for ewe,will mrs b give me a blow job tomorrow nite   also will i av a bottle to supp on ? to numb the pain !!! 

[Dekay]

How do you fill the empty void of life we have to live with no real choices to live as we might want, and is madonna to old to be sexy even if you had the porno she appeared in before she became famous when you were young, and I have been breaking butterflies upon wheels to stop them making caterpillar nuiscance on my strawberry plants, have I changed the future or comitted an innocent act not worth mentioning

[The Dude Abides]

oi dude bach....heres one for ewe,will mrs be give me a blow job tomorrow nite   also will i av a bottle to supp on ? to numb the pain !!! 

 

Hi Cap and thanks for the question.

 

Well tonight's the night, I've emailed Mrs B with some hints on technique, no chewing etc.

 

I'd have a bottle standing by just in case though.

 

 

How do you fill the empty void of life we have to live with no real choices to live as we might want, and is madonna to old to be sexy even if you had the porno she appeared in before she became famous when you were young, and I have been breaking butterflies upon wheels to stop them making caterpillar nuiscance on my strawberry plants, have I changed the future or comitted an innocent act not worth mentioning

 

 

Hi Deeks and thanks for the question.

 

Sorry about the video in the last answer, it seemed to work OK until I farted on my laptop.

 

Anyway on with your present dilemma, I do quite like Madonna, metal pointy tits are well cool (hers are going a bit rusty now but I'm sure I could polish them up with a bit of chrome cleaner).

 

I don't like strawberries but I do like butterflies, please stop killing them immediately unless you intend to eat them.

 

All good things

 TDA

[usibl]

felicitations dude, salutations & stationary. I like this thread soo much I cant find words.

Im a bit into my pipes n cups & alwyas seem to chase deeks around when this alflails me.

its not often Im alwso waondering abotu if I may be so pixie-bold to add a one liner to your

rsponse to deeks per post below. I know its presuptuous of me and its the 2nd time this week

I been that. but, weel, its a special thing twix him & me makes me thot of someting

that might helphim if hes openminded 'nough to resd this far.

& amny thanks for a presumed "go-ahead usi you stoned fookin fairy lolly"

Well I know with someone with your complete and utter lack of medical training that I may finally get the help I need and not some bloody medicine as they call it, I like to think that my ass is a sacred place but thats often how you feel when monks congregate around a body part but I do still think fondly of the nuns who worshipped my left big toe, I was always tripping over bloody nuns but thats off the point, I am haunted by a ghost, a devil ghost with a hot poker, I never see him but only true evil would inflict this pain, I went to see the doctor thinking he would prescribe a priest to exorcise my demons and was handed some white bullets, I loaded these bullets into a gun but I have yet to catch the bugger to shoot him so dont find any comfort from this approach and if I can stop this pain without resorting to bullets, I am a pacafist after all, that would be a lot more comforting to my cursed soul.

 

Hi Deeks. sypathetic to your "pain". let me preface my remarks w I am an old retired nun...

er, nurse. worked hospital for 20years, lad. seen many a man w similar c/o's of "pain"

that led to a script for the white bullets. and your not the only one who was gun shy of

poking up one in the medical industries recommended fashion... is this what passes

for fahion these days? ff faux-fashion I say passe-faux-fashion at that. however,

(footnote: fook just ran out of Pall Malls will have to smoke SuperSonic Crystal Storm)

 

inside or outside of the machinery of corporate healthcare (socialized or no)

there is a solution, a course of action, a remedy, a cure, a fix. & no snake oil & no

oilin the snake. when your a boy, your every , all the body parts are scared and not to be

insulted injured penetrated poked inserted into, wheather or not in the pursuant pursuit

of easing a pain. I think, as a holisic practitioneer of holisic things all natural, that a course

for you to procede is to place the white bullet on the tip of your califlower butt plug

and then you wont notice the bullet slippping in followed by the c.b.p.

 

all kindness for your conflagration that will result for using the c.b.p.

but you'll forget that whatever was it pain you might of mentioned earlier.

hope thismighthelpor ignor as the stoned niggle of a mad-pizie.

happy x-mas & no fears

 

this post might be supported by the G C health & safety committee or be in

stuticus-referalus to same committee to be reviewed at her leisure by the Queen Mum.

appointees of the committee of health & safety & housing & roads & bridges & waterways

& driveways & sideways & sunrise & sunset & the seasons & your dna