[igiggle]

Of all the things lost, I miss my mind the most.

Ozzy

[KiefKat]

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Anonymous

[KiefKat]

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Norm Crosby

[KiefKat]

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.

Rod Stewart

[KiefKat]

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

[KiefKat]

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept trying to cover me up.

Rodney Dangerfield

[KiefKat]

Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

[KiefKat]

I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating... and you finish off as an orgasm. - George Carlin

[hazed bunny]

Daughters are like flowers, they fill the world with beauty.

[igiggle]

Sons are like lumberjacks, they fill the world with wood.