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Cracking walnuts between your buttocks and other stuff.

with farty bits

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#1 The Dude Abides

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Posted 01 November 2016 - 07:52 PM

The human body is amazing, never ceases to impress me on the versatility of various bits of it.

 

I can crack walnuts between my buttocks, crab claws as well, Brazil nuts and lobster claws are tricky though, about 50% success rate with these.

 

I put this down to being a wicketkeeper and motorcycle despatch rider for many years, my knees are fucked but my buttocks are firm (ask Mrs Willy).

 

Anyway, what unusual things can you do with your body, or bits of it?

 

All good things

 TDA


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#2 Mrs Willy

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Posted 01 November 2016 - 08:06 PM

I can play the lancashire accordion rather well. This is a rare skill , which means you can make fart noises with your two hands squashed together. It is like making fart noises with your hand under your arm as you pump your arm, but with your hands.

 

Why is it called the lancashire accordion? ive no idea. Dont ask me i just work here.

 

 

 


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#3 The Dude Abides

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Posted 01 November 2016 - 08:33 PM

Very impressive Darling, what's with the Scandinavian accent, I thought you were Welsh?

 

You can get better fart noises by clenching your buttocks and exhaling violently, whilst squeezing your nose and plumping your cheeks.

 

Best done sitting on the loo, just in case.

 

All good things

 TDA


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#4 captain beefheart

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Posted 01 November 2016 - 08:40 PM

yo dude dont know if this is a trick or not.....but i once ate 18 pickled eggs in 1 day ?  :D


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#5 Mrs Willy

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Posted 01 November 2016 - 08:44 PM

Very impressive Darling, what's with the Scandinavian accent, I thought you were Welsh?

 

You can get better fart noises by clenching your buttocks and exhaling violently, whilst squeezing your nose and plumping your cheeks.

 

Best done sitting on the loo, just in case.

 

All good things

 TDA

 

i will try that darling thankyou or the advice.

The reason for the scandanavian accent is because its not me, its just someone i have locked up in a bedroom.


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#6 Forest

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Posted 01 November 2016 - 09:21 PM

i can flare both my nostrils   can every one or am i special ?

 

 


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#7 The Dude Abides

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Posted 01 November 2016 - 11:50 PM

yo dude dont know if this is a trick or not.....but i once ate 18 pickled eggs in 1 day ?  :D

 

 

Paul Newman ate 25+ in an hour, I saw it in a film.

 

Not a bad effort though bach.

 

I once ate 3 in a pub in Cambridge, I've always regretted that.

 

 

i will try that darling thankyou or the advice.

The reason for the scandanavian accent is because its not me, its just someone i have locked up in a bedroom.

 

 

Have you got her number darling?

 

 

i can flare both my nostrils   can every one or am i special ?

 

 

You are special Forest, are they maritime distress flares?

 

The big red ones?

 

 

All good things

 TDA


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#8 mrsDeeks

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Posted 01 November 2016 - 11:56 PM

you know the pinky finger thing you do when you drink a cup of tea, I can do that with my little toe  :curtsey:


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#9 The Dude Abides

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Posted 02 November 2016 - 12:05 AM

you know the pinky finger thing you do when you drink a cup of tea, I can do that with my little toe  :curtsey:

 

Got a pic?

 

AGT

TDA


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#10 BIGLUMPAGREEN

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Posted 02 November 2016 - 08:28 AM

I've found that if I stand legs a kimbo over small walls and such I'm able to knock them down with a good swing of my testiclestuff,BIG
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