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Things catch up with Dude.

with farty bits without red wine

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#1 The Dude Abides

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Posted 23 March 2018 - 09:59 PM

So it's Wed 14th March, Mrs Dude is going away for a few days and I've not much work to do at home (paint 5 doors), I'm really looking forward to getting smashed every night without the "your vaping/drinking too much again!"

 

I drop her at the station then pick up 3 nice bottles of Shiraz on my way back home.

 

Out comes the mini roller and bash, bash bosh the doors are done and its only lunchtime.

 

I load the vape and decide to have a pee, after peeing I feel really nauseous, I kneel down next to bog and throw up really violently, then repeat but nothing comes out, I haven't vomited for years so its a bit of a shock.

 

Then these horrible stomach cramps start and I'm rolling around the floor in agony, after 5 mins I crawl to the bedroom and lie on the bed waiting for the cramps to ease, they don't.

 

I can barely breathe with the pain and after another half hour I crawl/fall downstairs and roll over to the phone, gotta call 999 as I can feel myself slipping away.

 

I manage to croak my name and address to the operator then crawl to the front door and open it.

 

15 mins later an ambulance and 2 paramedics show up, take one look at me and I'm on a stretcher in the back having morphine pumped into me (yeah the real stuff), pain eases enough for me to talk and they whizz me to A&E, straight into theatre, more morphine and I pass out.

 

When I come to I've got 4 different drips in my arms and a catheter tube stuck up my willy.

 

Doc says to me another half hour and I'd have been dead.

 

Acute pancreatitis, fuck this thinks Dude.

 

Only cure is lots of intravenous liquids, so I lay on my back for 10 days having blood taken every four hours and what looks like a very complicated hydro set up coming out of my body. Had my first solid food yesterday and I managed to persuade them to let me home today so here I am.

 

I've never had a more painful and uncomfortable 10 days in my life and hope to never have it again.

 

Doc says no more booze for Dude, EVER, bummer man.

 

So the moral of this story is don't drink 3 bottles of wine a day for 10 years and expect to get away with it.

 

I'm as weak as a kitten right now.

 

All good things

 TDA


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#2 Bubonik Chronic

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Posted 23 March 2018 - 10:04 PM

Fuckin ell Dude that was a close one mucker,hope you mend up soon as ya can mate.Don't lie though you loved the tube up the little Dude  :D


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#3 duke

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Posted 23 March 2018 - 10:09 PM

So it's Wed 14th March, Mrs Dude is going away for a few days and I've not much work to do at home (paint 5 doors), I'm really looking forward to getting smashed every night without the "your vaping/drinking too much again!"

 

I drop her at the station then pick up 3 nice bottles of Shiraz on my way back home.

 

Out comes the mini roller and bash, bash bosh the doors are done and its only lunchtime.

 

I load the vape and decide to have a pee, after peeing I feel really nauseous, I kneel down next to bog and throw up really violently, then repeat but nothing comes out, I haven't vomited for years so its a bit of a shock.

 

Then these horrible stomach cramps start and I'm rolling around the floor in agony, after 5 mins I crawl to the bedroom and lie on the bed waiting for the cramps to ease, they don't.

 

I can barely breathe with the pain and after another half hour I crawl/fall downstairs and roll over to the phone, gotta call 999 as I can feel myself slipping away.

 

I manage to croak my name and address to the operator then crawl to the front door and open it.

 

15 mins later an ambulance and 2 paramedics show up, take one look at me and I'm on a stretcher in the back having morphine pumped into me (yeah the real stuff), pain eases enough for me to talk and they whizz me to A&E, straight into theatre, more morphine and I pass out.

 

When I come to I've got 4 different drips in my arms and a catheter tube stuck up my willy.

 

Doc says to me another half hour and I'd have been dead.

 

Acute pancreatitis, fuck this thinks Dude.

 

Only cure is lots of intravenous liquids, so I lay on my back for 10 days having blood taken every four hours and what looks like a very complicated hydro set up coming out of my body. Had my first solid food yesterday and I managed to persuade them to let me home today so here I am.

 

I've never had a more painful and uncomfortable 10 days in my life and hope to never have it again.

 

Doc says no more booze for Dude, EVER, bummer man.

 

So the moral of this story is don't drink 3 bottles of wine a day for 10 years and expect to get away with it.

 

I'm as weak as a kitten right now.

 

All good things

 TDA

bloody hell dude no vino!!!!!!!seriously look after yourself dude and i hope recovery is swift and if you need any help medswise just call you a friend so i hope to see you soon and healthy,i got consulant visit apr5th might find out whats wrong with me then,maybe but its nothing common or normal sounds fucking right for me!tina sends her best peace


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#4 The Dude Abides

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Posted 23 March 2018 - 10:22 PM

Fuckin ell Dude that was a close one mucker,hope you mend up soon as ya can mate.Don't lie though you loved the tube up the little Dude  :D

 

 

Yeah, that was definitely the best bit of the whole experience BC, the nurse who took it out had a fabulous pair if tits as well.

 

 

bloody hell dude no vino!!!!!!!seriously look after yourself dude and i hope recovery is swift and if you need any help medswise just call you a friend so i hope to see you soon and healthy,i got consulant visit apr5th might find out whats wrong with me then,maybe but its nothing common or normal sounds fucking right for me!tina sends her best peace

 

 

Caught me by complete surprise Duke, hardly ever even get a hangover, fit and healthy then 4 mins later nearly dead.

 

Mrs Dude thinks I did it on purpose to ruin her holiday, she rushed back cos a good friend of hers died in similar circumstances a few years ago.

 

Good luck on the 5th amigo and love to Tina and hounds.

 

All good things

 TDA


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#5 KiefKat

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Posted 23 March 2018 - 10:26 PM

Fuck Dude, sounds like a bad dose - glad you made it through though. Hope the lack of vino won't hit you too hard, but better safe than sorry.

All the best.


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#6 The Dude Abides

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Posted 23 March 2018 - 10:34 PM

Fuck Dude, sounds like a bad dose - glad you made it through though. Hope the lack of vino won't hit you too hard, but better safe than sorry.

All the best.

 

Twas the worst thing ever for me KK, makes my multiple fractured leg, collapsed lung and broken pelvis seem like a walk in the park.

 

On the plus side I totally forgot about my bad back.

 

All good things

 TDA


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#7 no1

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Posted 23 March 2018 - 10:37 PM

Whoaaa @The Dude Abides, that was to close man, glad you are ok. Not even a hair of the dog? Could have been the paint fumes an all, ya know?

 

Are you going to abide, do you thinks?  Take care bro          


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#8 usibl

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Posted 23 March 2018 - 10:39 PM

Ive had a feeling St Peter was rattling the Pearly Gates,

but glad he hant opened 'em up for ya Dude.

at least Dr dint take away yer weed 'eh

& ya dont need a liver transplant, but thats gettin a dose of morphine the hard way.

we abide & cherish you dont go doing somethin dumb like dying on us.

this is supposed to be encourageing-like, but its hard to click the "Like This" tab

on a story so sad n painful, but I did.

Kind Regards

usi


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#9 The Dude Abides

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Posted 23 March 2018 - 10:49 PM

Whoaaa @The Dude Abides, that was to close man, glad you are ok. Not even a hair of the dog? Could have been the paint fumes an all, ya know?

 

Are you going to abide, do you thinks?  Take care bro          

 

Cheers no1, I'll be abiding for a while yet I reckon. Doc did say not a drop, even at next Xmas (we shall see, I can resist everything except temptation).

 

There was only one TV in a six bed ward and the guy next to me had control of it, poor sod was in a bad way and is due to go to a hospice next week.

 

Whenever it was on he was watching Star Trek the next generation, after about 10 episodes the opening titles were driving me mad.

 

"don't you like anything else I asked?"

 

No says he.

 

150 episodes later I was praying for the bloke to die.

 

All good things

 TDA


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#10 mrsDeeks

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Posted 23 March 2018 - 11:00 PM

WOW, glad you are okay, that must of been so scary. 


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